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There is no denying that social networking has completely changed the way we communicate, share information and look at pictures of people we like. Now, social networking has found it’s way into AS Level ICT exam papers for the first time. This has caused great divide amongst teachers. Some say that social networking should be included, as it is a relevant and current form of ICT, while others say that the module is further proof that A-Levels are getting easier.

The exam will be taken by students from June 2010. A similar module that covers the use of Smartphone such as the iPhone and Blackberry is also being planned.

A new application for Android and iPhone is about to be launched for tweeters who really can’t get enough. “Tweet while you sleep” uses a mobile device’s built-in microphone to listen for the sound of snoring. When this is detected, the application tweets “is currently asleep..” to the user’s twitter account.

The clever little app was ironically developed by an insomniac with no friends.

Many have expressed concerns that this will provide burglars with useful information, especially when the user provides geo-tagged location information. One twitter user said, “I do like twitter, and I tweet regularly, but I don’t think people really need to know when I’m asleep”. However another said “This is a brilliant idea, I know loads of people who tweet everything they are doing, including using the toilet! And why not I say!”.

In fact, using the toilet is the focus point of developer’s next app.

“Shitter” will run on any device with an accelerometer. It will be calibrated to detect the series of forces that occur when trousers are removed and record a geo-tagged tweet to the users account, saying “has just done a poo…”

There are fears that “Shitter” will produce some false positives, such as when trying on clothes in a changing room or influencing a member of parliament.

The developer said “we are really straining to get Shitter out soon”.

Earlier this week, Google entered the social networking market with “Buzz”, which is basically an extension to Gmail that lets people do more “facebooky” type stuff. It’s all very nice, but you can’t help thinking they missed the bandwagon on this one. It seems that everyone is trying to produce the next big thing, and I think if you set out with that as your defined mission it’s never going to happen. The next big thing needs to come from nowhere – an idea scribbled down on a Starbucks napkin or a drunken conversation with friends.

With this in mind and to prove how easy it is, I set myself a challenge.

During BBC One’s ”The One Show” on Friday 12th February, I would have to come up with a basic outline for a social networking site, and produce some initial screenshots.

By the way, if you asked a professional company to do this, it would take weeks and they would charge like six million quid – I am doing this in half an hour (less if you count the time I got distracted by beautiful Christine Bleakley’s face), and I’m doing it for fun – that is how ace (or lonely) I am!

So here it is, my social networking site concept -

Finga - the next big thing.

Finga, is a social networking site that acts like a giant phone book. You don’t make friends, everyone who joins can see everyone, you don’t share photos, no one is interested in what your up to anyway (unless your Pixie Lott and you just so happened to be spending the day covered in ice cream), everything is text based – so its quick to load and all that.

Finga Screenshot

Finga also integrates with your mobile phone, so you can make calls using VOIP via Finga. This feature is called -

FingaRing - make calls using Finga.

Job done. Then I went to the pub.

Major panic has erupted at the BBC’s Drama unit after an employee let slip who had killed Archie Mitchell in popular soap opera Eastenders. After not properly setting their privacy settings on Facebook, the employee accidentally gave away the name in a status update.

The story line had been set to keep viewers in suspense for the next few weeks, with the big reveal to coincide with the shows 25th anniversary. The actual episode in which the killer is named is to be filmed live. It is understood that the unit assistant who gave away the secret had been working on scenes to be shown after the live episode.

The employee in question has now been reassigned to work on BBC Four or anything with Graham Norton in it, as a punishment.

So who is the killer? Well in a shock twist it isn’t Ian, Bradley, Max, Phil, Sam, Peggy or Ronnie. It is a returning member of the cast.

It is in fact – Boris Johnson. Doof Doof…

The status that gave away the storyline.

The employee, whose identity I have chosen to protect, somewhat ironically, revealed that Boris Johnson has been nicknamed “Bruiser Boris” by the production team. Whereas this will come as a shock to most viewers, soap insiders are not at all surprised. It’s not the first time that politicians have been involved in Eastenders storylines, many viewers will recall the 1998 love story involving the then leader of the Liberal Democrats Paddy Ashdown and Robbie Jackson’s dog Wellard.

Boris apparently impressed Eastenders bosses when he filmed scenes in the Queen Vic in 2009, and was offered the chance to return on a more permanent basis.

The involvement of Boris Johnson in Archie Mitchell’s murder may open the door for politicians from the other main parties to feature in Eastenders, so the BBC is seen to be impartial. There have been rumours that Gordon Brown is set to be revealed as the real father of Heather Trott’s baby and that Nick Clegg has been in the show for years, but no one has noticed. For the first time a member of the BNP will also feature, as the BBC now recognises them as a main political party. Nick Griffin is being lined up to add some spice to the Syed and Christian storyline.

Bruiser Boris, with Peggy and the Murder Weapon

The BBC is now issuing revised guidelines for all its staff on the use of social networking sites.

Chaos at Facebook HQ tonight as the social networking colossus is threatened with legal action by the US Supreme Court.

The US Justice department has told Facebook to get tough over the increasing number of profiles being set up for pets, as almost all of them are under the age of 13 years old. This is in breach of the Child Online Protection Act, which states Facebook is required to protect minors from exposure to potentially adult material – even if those minors are not human. The number of profiles being set up for cats, dogs, fish, mice and even rats has rocketed in recent months.

Several popular cats have already amassed well over 250 friends across all species, however Facebook say their profiles will have to go if they are underage.

This Facebook user is just a kitten

A spokesperson said “You must be at least 13 years old to use Facebook. That is the end of the matter. If you do not meet this requirement, then we reserve the right to remove your profile. It doesn’t matter if you are human or not, the law makes no distinctions.”

The alarm was raised on this issue after a 42 year old man from Bellevue, Washington, sent abusive messages to a dog he had abandoned three years earlier, after finding his profile.

The dogs current owner, who didn’t want to be named said – “It was horrible, this man mistreated my dog and is still doing so via his Facebook wall”. Although the content of the message is too graphic to repeat, it is believed several references were made to castration.

The dog, who is now severn years old, has had his profile removed.

The Conservative party has announced it plans to scrap the controversial UK identity card scheme if it wins the next election. The scheme, set to roll out in full swing in 2012, has been dogged with claims that it is an expensive, pointless exercise. The Tories agree, and have revealed they plan to save money by scrapping the scheme. Making Facebook membership mandatory for all UK citizens.

The planned ID card holds much the same information as a Facebook profile.

A party spokesman said – “ID cards are a waste of time. Facebook can store much more information about a person when compared to a small plastic card. Plus, most people already have a Facebook account, so the roll out time will be significantly reduced. Using Facebook will save the country millions of pounds. Not to mention the fact that every UK citizen will be able to play Farmville.”

For the scheme to be a success all citizens will be required to add David Cameron as a friend, and update their status every time they plan on leaving the country. There will be fines for non-compliance.

The shadow home secretary added – “Profile pictures will have to be taken in the same manner as passport photographs, meaning an end to artsy black and white pictures that make a person look cooler.”

When questioned on the plans, the current government dismissed them as “stupid”. A home office spokesman said “everyone knows twitter is better”.

The election is expected to take place in March. David Cameron has promised to issue a Facebook event invitation nearer the time.

According to my crack team of Facebook insiders, there may soon be another button appearing on users profiles. The social network giant has been looking into the possibility of having the legal right to marry its users, and process the ceremony online. Requests have been made in several US states to check the legality of such a move, meanwhile at Facebook HQ developers have already coded the changes.

The process starts with a simple click on a “Propose to Blah” button, just under the “Poke Blah” button on a profile. The lucky recipient receives a push notification, informing them of the proposal. The couple then have to pick a mutually suitable time for the ceremony to take place online. The ceremony will happen in real time using a set of online forms and flash instructional videos. The couple can chose to have either a clergyman sat at Facebook HQ performing the ceremony remotely for an additional charge, or have the task performed for free by a php script.

However, there will be no option for a quickie divorce on Facebook. When questioned about this one developer said “an online divorce -never! Whatever happened to the sanctity of marriage?”

All going well with the legal issues, the option should start appearing in the next couple of months.

Ever since it was launched in April 2008, Facebook Chat has been, shall we say, flakey. Frequently, conversations are made impossible due to errors and delays in transmission. The error message “This could not be sent at the moment, would you like to send it as a message?” is as familiar as the “unexpected item in the bagging area” message, which you get on automated checkouts. It is also just as annoying.

Following in-depth research and paying off a number of developers. I have been given access to the inner workings of Facebook Chat and have published them here in the hope that I can better explain the issues.

To start with the end user (that’s you, end user is a technical term, I’m not calling you an end), will click the Chat button at the bottom right of the Facebook window, and chose an online contact. But how does Facebook chat know you are online in the first place?

Well next time you go online, take a look out of your window. Chances are you will see a Facebook employee looking through the window holding a laptop. They are watching to see when you are online, and likewise when you go offline. If there are no employees in your local area at the time you wish to go on Facebook chat, you won’t be able to. An error message that reads “could not connect to Facebook chat at this time”, will pop up. During the recent snowy period in the UK this message has been occurring regularly as staff are unable to get to users’ home’s.

Next the end user types a message to their buddy. Once enter is pressed, the message is sent, not via the online/offline employee, but electronically to one of 1,500 worldwide Facebook chat message relay centres. Each relay centre is manned by 250 full time staff who relay the messages using semaphore flags to the next relay centre, who then, in turn, type the message and send it electronically to the recipient.

This is the semaphore for "F"

There are some limitations to semaphore, such as it can be hard for one flag person to see the other during bad weather, and the range of semaphore is limited according to the eyesight of the individual using it. Occasionally Facebook chat users will notice the limitations of semaphore, when a “sending…” message appears in the chat box, but not the message. Sometimes this message can be displayed for up to one day, if too many relay centre employees are off work at the time.

Facebook hope to replace this system with a completely electronic one by 2025, until then users will have to make do with the current system, which considering it’s complexity and the man power required to run it, isn’t all that bad. Oh and don’t forget it’s all free!!

I should start with a general Facebook related point. How much has Facebook ever cost it’s users? Nothing. It’s a free service; it owes the world nothing. Millions of people can’t imagine life without it, and yet, it’s still socially acceptable to moan about it. So here goes…

When I log in to the book of the face, I am presented with “suggestions”. Such as “You haven’t spoken to BillyBob for a while, why not send him a message”. The issue is this - I see BillyBob every day. I have spoken to him numerous times today. Just because I haven’t done it in the cyber-world doesn’t mean that I haven’t done it. The real world is still out there. At the moment Facebook doesn’t know about this place. Will it ever learn of it?

My guess is this, the suggestions will start becoming, well, more suggestive over time. For example, “Your 33 and still not in a relationship, perhaps you should go out more or settle for a single friend who is in a similar situation”. “Your starting to put on weight again, go for a run fatty”.

It would also be interesting if advertisers get access to suggestions, “Why not go shopping at Tesco. You haven’t been for a while”.

Keep an eye on it…